Down the road regret is something that awaits the person who thinks, “I’m young so I’m just gonna have fun and live it up.”
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad to have fun, but there is a right kind of a fun and a wrong kind of fun. There’s fun that costs you ten bucks and then there’s “fun” that takes more than you bargained for, e.g. losing your virginity for the first time.
I have yet to meet a girl who does not regret losing their virginity [before marriage] to the guy they lost it to or the time they chose to do it. Not. One.
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t regret losing my virginity when I did.” Maybe not enough time has passed for the consequences of your decision to manifest clearly. Whatever the case may be, we ladies especially, can tend to make lots of emotionally based decisions that we end up regretting.
I write this because I want you to be done with the regrets. Living a life of regret is not a healthy one. I drank myself silly (or till blackness), more than a few times when I decided to illegally drink at the age of eighteen.
Do I wish I never did any of those things, yeah of course. Blacking out because of alcohol is something I pray my future children never do. How about all the loser guys I dated? O boy, how much heartache I would have spared myself if I chose to just wait for the right guy.
We see dating, sex, drinking–all these things people are doing at younger and younger ages–and get blinded to the effects of these activities. Thanks to the majority of media and the people they set up as icons, ten-year-old’s are starting to have sex with each other.
Look at how little girls are dressing and dancing. Yes it’s the parents’ fault as well, they can somewhat monitor what their kids watch, but honestly, they cannot monitor what enters their child’s mind 24/7 unless they lock their kids up inside all day and hover their every move.
The sex message is everywhere. Don’t want your kid or little five-year-old sister to wanna be sexy, don’t take them to a mall. In Aventura Mall, one of the largest and most popular malls in America, you don’t have to step one foot inside of Victoria’s Secret to see a sexy half-naked model. She’s taking up part of an entire wall from top to bottom shouting, “Look at me, come inside, buy what I’m wearing, be sexy.
Don’t take them to Abercrombie or Ruehl or more than half of the other stores in the mall either if you don’t want them to see nude pictures that are just barely revealing what’s supposed to be the “private parts” of their models. Private parts. I haven’t even heard that term in years! It’s like nothing is private anymore, nothing is special, nothing is forbidden, nothing is off limits.
I plead with you, young or even older woman alike reading this blog to think twice about growing up fast. Your body is sacred. Call it a holy word, I say it’s simply a truth you need to know about yourself. Yes, many people are–sadly enough–flashing their goods like it’s all dandy, but deep down, you know there’s something demeaning in that, something that doesn’t seem right for a ten-year-old to pose with top off and pants pulled down to one side in front of a camera for the world to see? Doesn’t that picture of that little girl topless tick you off? What happened to little girls wanting to be like Cinderella and Belle? Now it seems little girls want to be like Lady Gaga and Beyonce instead.
Will some real role models please stand up? Where are you? Are you out there? Can you fight the current and do what’s right? Can you be a princess, someone little girls can mimic without having to compromise their innocence?
Think before you do, before you try, before you, “have some fun.” There’s little eyes watching you. Little girls are looking for role models, especially if they don’t have a good one at home. Do you want them to walk around like another mini-Beyonce and have sick old men undressing them with their eyes? After seeing images like these, although I’m not condoning it, I can understand why there’s so many pedophiles out there.
Please ladies, stand up and be the princess icons our younger generation needs. I beg you. I’m a princess. I will make sure I act accordingly knowing that when I step out of my house, I’m influencing someone.
What are your thoughts on all this? Please feel free to share them in a respectful manner in a comment.
Natasha Sapienza 
I find your reproduction of the photo of young French model Thylane Blondeau with bars across her chest offensive and absurd. Girl’s chests are physiologically identical to a boy’s until puberty releases the hormones that create breast tissue. Indeed, if a boy is fed female hormones he too will develop breast tissue. Are you really saying that girls should cover their chests because one day they will have breasts? Isn’t this sexualizing their chests? Isn’t it the act of covering girl’s chests (and not boy’s) the very thing that sexualizes them in the first place? Don’t forget that she is French and the French are no where near as obsessed by breasts as Americans. It is not uncommon to see topless girls and women on French beaches, in magazines and in fashion parades. Furthermore, God designed the breast for one thing and one thing alone – to feed babies. There is nothing in the Bible to say the breast is in anyway sexual. In fact there are many paintings and statues of Mary breastfeeding Jesus. The idea that the breast is sexual is an absurd English/American idea. Thankfully not all cultures accept the sexualization of the breast. What a pity you perpetuate this nonsense.
Ray, I found the image online, I did not add the bar, firstly. About the breast being unsexual according to the Bible Proverbs chapter verses 18-19 says, “Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.”
In the Book of Solomon the wife says to her husband, “A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, That lies all night between my breasts.” And as the husband speaks he to his wife, “Your two breasts are like two fawns,
Twins of a gazelle,
Which feed among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
And the shadows flee away,
I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh
And to the hill of frankincense.” And “This stature of yours is like a palm tree, And your breasts like its clusters.” To say that a woman’s breast were only meant for breast feeding is an unknowledgable statement, especially if you’re going to say the Bible mentions no such thing. As stated in the above verses, it obviously addresses the breasts with sexuality and how they arouse men.
You responded to someone asking, “…you’re saying God’s way isn’t the best way, and if that’s the case, then may I kindly ask, whose is?”
First of all, The fact that you’re quoting the bible tells me you have a guilt-ridden life and that is where it all stems from (my opinion, of course).
Second, you’re assuming everyone believes in God. You may think that a book (the Bible) dictates what is good and bad, but that is your point of view, not everyone else’s. What is “right” and what is “wrong” is subjective. I believe the “best way” is living your life knowing your decisions have consequences and asking yourself whether you can live with those consequences or not. There is no ONE way that works best for everyone. Everyone has a different way making decisions and living with those consequences. You just live and learn. It is all based on each individual’s experience.
If it makes you feel better to do everything according to a book you believe God inspired, then by all means do so. But don’t push those ideals on others because that is where the TRUE harm comes from. Don’t make others feel guilty just because you choose to put yourself through that torture.
You even opened up the article already trying to make people feel bad for a decision YOU obviously regret – losing your virginity. Just because you made a decision and regret it, does not mean it applies to everyone else. Who are you trying to fool here? When I lost my virginity, I did not regret it one bit (and trust me when I say this as it has been 10+ years since it has happened).
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to read.
Maybe I wrote in a confusing way, because I lost my virginity on my wedding night, by God’s grace. You made a few other accusations that I would like to address for your sake and Christ’s.
I am not guilt-ridden. The incredibly beautiful thing about Jesus is that He forgives and cleanses us from all sin. We are “new” in Him. I am so free and thankful and filled with His joy knowing that I’m right with Him only because Jesus loved me enough to die in my place and make me right before God.
I base my opinions off the Bible. Your opinion–everything is subjective–must come from somewhere as well. I have made many foolish decisions that I could have spared myself from had I known what God’s will for me in that area was.
I believe based on logic and reality that when we do not obey God’s Word, the Bible, we naturally harm ourselves and others.
Jesus taught to love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and to love your neighbor as yourself. If we all did this, this world would be perfect.
I believe the Bible because I’ve read it from cover to cover multiple times, have seen its words come to pass, and experienced the same God it portrays in amazing ways and continue to almost five years after my first read-through, and because of the astounding historical, geographic, and prophetic accuracy it contains. There is truly no other book in existence like it.
Again, thank you for commenting. I pray my response cleared up any confusion. If not, please let me know and I can further answer your questions or concerns.
Much love to you
This is a very American idea of sexuality. I look at the photo with the child’s “beasts” unbarred and I see nothing. There are pictures of her running around with her mother and brother and she is topless all over France, and other little girls too. I just don’t see the sexuality in the picture at all. (And I am a female and lost my virginity to my best friend/ lover many years ago, and I don’t regret it at all. I love him and to this day we still are good friends, sometimes still have sex, and love each other.) You can’t speak for everyone, your way isnt always the best way.
Thanks for commenting, Lex. I’d say at this moment you don’t regret it, but I’d argue it’s because you do not know the value of what you’ve given, and how invaluable you are. You gave a man who is not committed to you a gift you can only give once, and it is in essence your everything. When you engage in sex, you’re not just having sex with a body, but a soul. You’re becomming one with another human being. You’ve allowed this man to have access to the deepest most intimate part of you. If you don’t agree with me spiritually, even scientifically, the more partners you have, the less oxytocin your brain secreases and statistics have shown the emotional and mental damage pre-marital sex has on girls. Not to mention all the STIs going around which is obviously damaging to your health and the cause of many innocent newborns deaths.
I’d like to add that I wasn’t the one who created the idea of no sex until marriage, God did. So really, you’re saying God’s way isn’t the best way, and if that’s the case, then may I kindly ask, whose is?
I disagree with your interpretation entirely. The breast is often a symbol of comfort and sustenance, derived from its function in comforting children. I see no suggestion of ‘sexual’ arousal in these passages. Might I again point out that girls don’t have breasts. In fact, if you were to display pictures of the naked torso of both boys and girls, below the neck and above the pelvis, you could not tell which was which, and therefore, those that should be covered. Whilst you may not have placed the bars over the girl’s chest you chose that image and then wrote, “I’m ten and I pose topless like my grown-up media icons do”. By putting them in quotation marks are you suggesting she said this, or is it your interpretation? Again, let me point out that the pressure to cover young girls’ chests is a peculiarly Anglo thing and other Christian cultures are not as fussed because they understand that girls do not have breasts and are therefore not exposing anything (because they have nothing to expose). I might also add that as far as the Bible is concerned the age of marriage is 12. Whilst this is not mentioned in the Christian Bible, it was both Jewish and Roman law and was part of Catholic canon law until 1918 (when it was changed to 14). Indeed, in the Marion tradition Mary was married to the much older Joseph at age 12. I cannot think of anything that would sexualize a girl more than marry her off and expect her to fulfil ‘all’ the duties of a wife. Look through history and you see plenty of examples of young adolescent women being married in church by a priest, or have you forgotten your Romeo and Juliet? In fact, taking into consideration Jewish law, it can be argued that Mary fell pregnant with Jesus ‘before’ she was 12. Read Luke’s account and tell me that Elizabeth isn’t telling her that even though she was infertile, God made her fertile. Suggesting that God could impregnate the prepubescent, and therefore infertile Mary. Perhaps we should apply Biblical principles to solve the problem of young teen sex. Marry them off so that at least it happens in wedlock. Bet you didn’t know Christianity sanctioned marrying 12 year-olds!
I guess you misread the Scripture. “There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah. His wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6 And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. 7 But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both well advanced in years.” -Luke 1:5-7 Elizabeth was the infertile one, not Mary. Many people stumble across my blog by typing in “Thylane Blondeau’s boobs” “Sexy thylane” etc. Although thankfully, your mind does not see this young girl in a sexual light, it appears many people do visualize her that way. Whether her not-developed chest is sexy or not is mere opinion, not fact. People are turned on by women’s breasts. It is a matter of what the mind deems sexy. To some men little girls are sexy, to others, older women are sexy. The sexualization of this young girl is in my *opinion* obvious, if you do not agree with me, I respect your opinion and am thankful that you do not think as many men do. I also respect you for your intellect and apparent good-intentions. So, I agree to disagree with you and thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment with your views.
Indeed, Elizabeth was barren because she was advanced with age, meaning she’d gone through menopause – telling a premenstrual 12 year-old that ‘with God all things are possible’. Meaning he can make infertile women fall pregnant.
How do you know they stumble across your blog by typing in ‘Sexy Thylane’ etc? I stumbled across it by typing in plain old Thylane Blondeau whilst doing research.
Indeed, it is opinion, not fact. Opinion perpetuated by people such as yourself. This is about training young girls to see their chests as sexual. And it has worked. People now see them as sexual objects such that when they see a topless girl they are offended, yet they are not offended by topless boys. Bizarre.
Great article – words of wisdom in every line.
I guess it’s a matter of values. In the past I’ve written long posts about fashion and people trying to look better all the tome rather than be happy with who they are, but this is harder because the values here are clearly subjective. Some people see sexiness to be a fine message children have to learn at some point. Others see most things as oversexualization. Of course, it is hard separating biological programming for sex from psychological conditioning about sex by society. Certainly we invented the idea of it ever being a taboo. I hope you can follow my line of thinking – there’s a lot to talk about in this area.
Thanks again for commenting =)). I think sex is a beautiful, natural, holy and spiritual thing–in the context of marriage that is. When it’s flaunted and women and men alike expose themselves for the world to see–children included–it becomes sinful. I believe every human being is valued and precious and their bodies are sacred, to be shared with their spouse alone. The media’s rampant sex movement causes many a husband and wife to stray, to lust for another person, to desire more than what they have because I believe the messages tell them, “This is what sex should look like, if you don’t have this you’re missing out and you need more.” In some if not most cases it causes a naturally human and God-given desire to be lured into porn addictions and adultery. STD’s are at an all-time high, including divorce and adultery, but I’m not saying it’s only because of sexual issues, there is of course financial issues amongst other things, but all in all, the media’s usage of sex in my opinion is an exploitation of people’s bodies and is aiding the growing number of pre-teens engaging in sexual activity.
Yeah, I see your points. I’ll try to explain what I try to do when faced with things I don’t like seeing:
Personally I withhold judgement because I do not believe I, as one human, deserve to have a moral highground. Although I disapprove of, say, teenage sex, I cannot condemn it because as biological animals we naturally reproduce as soon as we can. Any kind of ‘taboo’ about sex is entirely manmade – we made it up ourselves. I have to remember that while making judgements.
Personally, my motto is: People can do what they want, as long as they’re not harming anybody else.
That’s the basis of any kind of society with any sense of free will.
By this comment I’m basically trying to say “I disagree with some things, but it’s not my right to distinguish between right and wrong, because I accept some people have different values from me, and there is no objective way of knowing which values are right and which values are wrong.”
Does that make sense?
I understand your point, Larry, about everyone having their own values, but I would argue that people engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage are harming others. http://voices.yahoo.com/research-shows-premarital-sex-damaging-brain-5625862.html
Not to mention how many people have unprotected sex, spreading STDs
No, I don’t think they’re harming others. It’s their lives and I feel like they should have the free will to do what they want. Unprotected sex is irrelevant here as we are not discussing that.
Thanks
Larry
I wouldn’t say it’s irrelevant, because we’re talking about premarital sex and I made the argument that it was harmful; unprotected sex is sex that is harmful and many engage in it.
I found your website on the Waiting till marriage website and I really liked your blog. I felt compelled to comment since only men have so far. I agree that youth do grow up too fast and it is partly the fault of the over-sexualized media we see today.
Just commenting and not starting an argument I think there is not a problem with a child running on the beach naked (as long a parents are close by) but their is a problem with a child modeling their body. A naked body should not be for fashion nor for modeling. In fashion and as a model everyone sees that body not really as art but either as something sexual or something that they desire. You can buy shoes but you can’t buy a body. I don’t think a ten year old needs to be in this type of arena. They should model clothes or toys not their bodies. And the ten year old’s stance was not even one to be confused with art- she was definitely doing some type of photo shoot designed for someone much older. The tone was too serious to be thought of as being innocent- honestly what was the message? Half naked girl? Just to reiterate I don’t think much is wrong (except in the terms of pedophilia) for a naked child around family, toddlers do it all the time, but to put it in a magazine is too much. Sorry if I ranted but some of the earlier posts bothered me some.
I agree that bodies are sacred and does not need to be put on display. I am also not a fan of seeing men without their tops on outside- especially when I am eating, its just not a pretty site sometimes. I believe that a female body is especially special. A young girl should understand such important values and how their body is special and should not be put on display. Honestly, where is the line between model and pornstar.
The statement “People can do what they want as long as they are not harming anyone else” is a good statement to live by but not realistic in my opinion. Since we live in a society surrounded by people it is almost impossible to never harm another by our
actions, smoking, drinking, unprotected sex etc. That is why there should be such a strive for models/actresses/models to think about how their actions are being portrayed by youth. Very few actions do not cause a ripple effect.
Sorry about the long post but I agree wholeheartedly with your article.
Thanks so much for your comment. I agree with you completely. This kind of thing just makes my heart burn with anger. The messages we’re sending young people with this kind of modeling is just terrible. I hear about so many young girls, even children having eating disorders. We need role-models and I can only pray that my voice is heard, and others with the same values like yourself are as well.
The naked body is a beautiful thing and should be modeled. Since ancient times many people have taken great care of there bodies as they were considered to be a gift. Even children’s naked body’s are beautiful, ( I feel like a pedophile for describing this ) there bodies will never be like they were in adulthood as there body is still developing and has something to it that can only be seen in a child’s body. The more children we have modeling such as Thylane Blondeau the better.
Oh yes and I forgot to add, a pornstar is someone who shows there genitals while being photographed or video taped, a topless young girl is not pornography and is a model.
Beyonce actually waited until marriage…
She didn’t present herself as such.
“I wanna hear you say my name boy
If you can reach me
You can feel my burning flame
I’m feelin kind of n-a-s-t-y
I just might take you home with me
Baby the minute i feel your energy
Your vibe’s just taken over me”
I’d like to say that posing topless is fine, I’m not just saying this because I am male but it is. There are absolutely nothing sexual (I think anyway) about breasts, there is no difference between a pre-pubescent female’s chest to a males chest before puberty. Plus in France (as Thylane Blondeau is from) it’s socially acceptable to be topple. The is absolutely no problem with young females wanting to like Lady Gaga or Beyonce, want to know why? There are these things called phases and children go through them very often, so when a child says, ‘I want to be Beyonce’ one day, a few weeks later she’ll say something completely different. I’m not at all saying this in an offensive way and if you do take it in as offensive I deeply apologize but you are to uptight. Now…I must figure out why I am on this sight in the first place,
Thank you for your comments, Logan. I’d say for most men, a woman’s breasts stimulate or attract them sexually. Now about Thylane, she’s taken other photos in five inch heals with dark lip stick on posing as if she were a twenty-five-year-old. Presenting a child as though they were an adult is wrong, because although you may not be a pedophile, there are many out there. She isn’t a toddler. She’s a growing girl. For the past few years, the ages of young people starting to have sex just keeps getting lower and lower. There are nine and ten-year-olds engaging in sexual activity, and although media isn’t the only reason for it, it definitly has a lot to do with it. Call me uptight, but I’m looking to protect. Times have changed, sex-crazed media influences children–Abercrombie photos and unhealthily skinny models are causing children to wear shorts with their cheeks showing, and children are forming eating disorders because they think they’re fat. To ignore the impact of these things is to harm yourself and others.
Children are maturing faster, literally the hormones are being released earlier. Many children are physically and mentally being more mature as the years past, when I. Have a conversation with a 10 year old its mot talking about toys or games, it’s talking about actual problems or people. With the whole issue about children being inspired by pop-culture to dress, I’m trying not to be vulgar but influencing them to be more slutty; the parents should have control over what they were. I’ve never in my life seen a 10 year old wearing booty-shorts without backs in my life. With Thylane I feel as if an acceptation should be made, she is a very beautiful and mature girl and should live to her full potential as a model. Yes, I do agree that some of the photos she does are to mature, it’s not our decision to make. As long as the parents are okay,and she’s okay with it I’m okay with it.
This makes me sad. I agree with Natasha. I have not read all the comments, as this is getting harsh. Natasha is showing us that God has a standard, because it is who He is and it is what is best for us. I have kept my virginity and I thank God. I am young, but I am still taking God’s will for me seriously, because I matter too God and He matters, because He is my everything. Also, there is healing beyond compare offered to those who need God. We all need Him. God bless you Natasha! I think you have the gift of prophecy. I do too.
“Ladies, know your worth.” Do you realize what she is talking about? God created, loves and desires you!!!!!
Thank you so much for your encouragement sister! I appreciate you taking the time to comment and support. Much love to you girl. So encouraged by you taking a stand for God and remaining a virgin. Loving and obeying God is our duty, and He will so bless you for it. Either way, it greatly benefits and protects you. Thanks again girl!
Jesus never was, God never existed, and the bible is written by men. Please don’t let these MAN-made works of fiction live your life for you and please don’t spread your falsehood/believe your own bullshit.
Would you have preferred if animals wrote it? Was not every ancient manuscript in history, both religious and non-religious, penned by man? Do you discount the manuscripts of Aristotle because there sure are thousands of less copies than there are of the bible, whose history, geography, and most importantly, prophetic writings have proven true. That’s what makes the bible different, its fulfilled prophecies prove it was indeed inspired by God, words given by Him to man. And how wonderful that God would choose to speak to mankind, to be relational with us, and not choose to just write a book without us, but include us in the awesome process of serving Him, and getting to know Him on a much more personal level. How wonderful to experience God speak to you and reveal things to you. I am so thankful He didn’t inspire a turtle or monkey to write the bible, but proved He cares firstly for a relationship with mankind, with His creation; that He is a Father who invites us to fellowship with Him, not a distant dictator who wants nothing to do with us. I too have experienced God in powerful ways and often hear from Him. You can too, if you would humble yourself and realize whatever it is your clinging to will never be better than the incredible gift of knowing God Himself and experiencing His goodness personally. Much love to you.