Confession Regarding My Marriage

I really need a new personal journal, but for the meantime I shall confess here, praying that God will use this in one person’s life.

Last night I had a two hour conversation with my sister in Christ who has mentored me since the very beginning of my walk with the Lord. Towards the end of our conversation, she mentioned something that began to shed light on a blind spot I have been totally oblivious of. The bible says like iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens his friend. Yeah, totally started to get refined from that moment of our conversation onward.

It started with a small revelation: I don’t always speak to my husband with respect or with graciousness. I’m not that gentle, quiet spirit that’s beautiful in the Lord’s sight. During this pregnancy, I’ve been increasingly diva-ish; “Jonathan, can you get me water, Jonathan can you take out the trash, Jonathan, can you feed the dog, Jonathan can you give me a massage (that one’s become a several-times-a-day request),” and etc. etc. Sure, I’ll say thank you, but it’s more of a reflex rather than a genuine expression of gratitude.

My hubby has been soooo wonderful and supportive and helpful—and without complaining. That was the second revelation: wow, my husband is a really good husband. I’ve taken it for granted, or maybe have just become so used to it that I started overlooking that precious fact.

He is so not demanding or high maintenance in the least. And he doesn’t point out the specks in my eye. Jonathan could have easily called out my ingratitude a while ago, but he never has. And this isn’t the first time he’s “overlooked an offense” as the Word says in Proverbs. The Holy Spirit is always the One to convict me, to show me where I’m off in regards to me and hubby’s relationship. And that also makes Jonathan all the sweeter. (Side note: Finger-pointing is ugly, and God don’t play that. Check out how He handled the blame-game in Genesis 3. HOWEVER, there is a difference from finger-pointing aka accusing, and gently correcting someone in love. We actually are called to do that).

All this to say, praise God. He is faithful to discipline the ones He loves. It’s always for our benefit and the benefit of others. Because of this revelation, I can now apologize to my sweet husband and if there was any hurt I caused him from my ingratitude, it will now begin to heal, and our marriage will only get better. Hallelujah!

You don’t need to confess publicly on my comments section, but do you need to apologize to someone for a lack of gratitude or respect? Then go for it! Only good can come from humbling yourself. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. May both you and I continue to desire God’s ways above our own, that we might experience Him more deeply and grow more like Him.

Much love,

Natasha

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