A Word From A Single Brother

This is something a brother posted in response to a sister on one of my recent posts, Christian Girls & Make-up I thought it was worth sharing.

My question to you is this: do you know what kind of women that godly men (holiest of men) truly want? Have you spoken to these holiest of men? Ones that are single or married?

After I’ve read your reply, I can’t help but only see hopelessness, loneliness, and despair. But you know what, you’re not alone. I can feel your pain. And I want to lovingly point out to you that this is not just “the epidemic of single women.”

Single guys feel the same way. How do I know? I’m a guy in my 20s and never had a girlfriend. And please don’t say that: “Oh you have plenty of time!” I might die tomorrow in a car accident, heart attack, etc you name it. And if you think that: “No wonder you’ve never had a girlfriend because you’re a creep!” because I’m posting on a blog for ladies then I’m sorry, let me be a creep…I guess? But I’ll encourage you to continue to read this. I know you’re pretty tired of advice by now. So this is not simply another advice.

When I said that single guys feel the same way, I really mean it. For girls’ standards/ideals/expectations, I get rejected because I’m a boring person, I’m short, skinny (like twigs/chopsticks), and not good-looking. Do you think that I have any hope that a girl would love me for who I am? Do you think that I should just pump up to meet a certain profile just for a girl to like me?

You see this is not just a physical issue anymore. Neither a soul issue nor an epidemic. This is a spiritual battle. We’re living in an age where information are overwhelming our ability to absorb all of them (some say that we are in an age of “infobesity”). Please, I’m not saying that knowledge/information are bad. But Satan can certainly use these media (such as magazine, TV shows, movies, social media, and etc) to deceive us more effectively.

We are being told by the lies that women have to look a certain shape, dress well, smell good, make yourself look attractive with make-up, not too short, not too tall, fun, outgoing, and the list goes. And for men? Well, they’ve got to have wealth, good-looks, look-at-them-guns, the 13 packs (don’t know where the odd one comes from), charismatic, charming, someone that can rock your world and so on. Again, not saying these qualities are bad. If God has blessed you with these qualities, praise God! Use them for His glory and not pride to build ones-self up.

When you start letting these qualities to identify you as an individual, that’s the problem. Your true identity is only found in Christ. I’m not saying this to be cheesy. But because He is the one that truly knows you more than anyone else and He has a purpose for you.

So to address the questions at the beginning; true, godly, faithful men drool over faithful and godly women. A real godly man wants a real godly woman to be stable and confident in the Lord. Who has healthy fear for the Lord. So when difficulties/trials come, he can trust that she (the helper) can support and encourage him. Not giving up on the marriage and leave him for some other men. Difficulties can be: financial problems, illness of a family member, parenting, in-laws, and even death of a child (like Levi Lusko’s daughter, Lenya).

{Psst, on an extra note, I know more guys that like bare faces. When there’s intimacy within the marriage bed, a guy doesn’t want to kiss those powdery cheeks nor those red lips from crushed cochineal beetles…just saying.}

Lastly, what I want to encourage you is this: God loves and accepts you just as much as He does for Natasha and everyone else. God’s word says “then Peter opened his mouth and said: ‘In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him.’” [Acts 10:34-35] God actually hates partiality/favoritism. It is considered as blasphemy against Him. [James 2:1-13]

So please, don’t give up on the Lord and don’t stop praying and asking Him for wisdom. God says “…count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” [James 1:2-4] And I would encourage you to read the rest of James chapter 1. This is not God being irrational and tells you that you have to say “yay” to trials. No one likes trials. But they shape you to be more like Christ. Helping you to be a great wife for your future husband.

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