I remember a time when I loved me some bad boys. I had this jacked up motto, “I don’t like good guys because they don’t have enough problems. If they don’t have problems, I can’t help them so what’s the point in me being their girlfriend?” That philosophy was flipped like a olypmic gymnast.
After bad boy number fifty-something, I got fed up with the problems. Why? Because eventually every problematic boyfriend I had, dumped me because of their problems [or I dumped him]! Here’s some true life examples.
EXAMPLE # 1: JACK THE POTHEAD
Jack was hot. He was tall, carmel skin with a touch of vanilla and long dark hair. He was Puerto Rican/Jamaican, mysterious and seductive. I would see him on rare occasion during lunch, knowing that he was skipping class to be there. Something else I knew about him: he was the go-to guy for marijuana. I wasn’t big on the drug, but it didn’t bother me that he sold/smoked it…until we started going out.
He’d go missing for a week, two weeks in a row then randomly appear at school again. I felt like I was going out with a not-so-friendly version of Casper the ghost. We went out for a month and during that time hung out only three times. Finally, I called him on the phone to confront him about it:
“It’s either me or the weed.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t give it up.”
“So we’re over then?”
EXAMPLE # 2: DACE THE TWOFACE
Dace rocked the whole wide raver jeans, tattoos and eyebrow ring. The typical hot bad boy. I was immediately drawn to him. We became official two months after we started dating. Suddenly, many bones were pouring out the closet. He had the most issues than any guy I had before him, but I swore I would help him with my love and that he would eventually get better. His alter ego, Aridon, wasn’t havin’ that. Eventually, after three break-ups, I realized his unresolved issues were too much and couldn’t possibly coexist with a healthy and lasting relationship. And this final relationship [before my wonderful husband] was the clincher.
I realized these problematic bad boys were bringing in heavy baggage, way too heavy for me to bear. I realized the relationships weren’t healthy, but damaging. I understood that all the tears I shed and battles I fought to try and “help” these guys simply gave me more baggage to bring into my next relationship. That surely wasn’t fair for the good guy out there who I would someday marry. When my heart was crushed beyond hopeful repair is when a good guy sounded pretty dang nice. Thankfully, I called out to the best heart Surgeon in the industry (God) and he sowed up my tattered heart in less than a week. But my goodness do I wish I got this sooner. What heartache it would have spared me!
When I met my hubby, I was blown away. He had more hotness than any bad boy I wasted time on before him, but he was a sweetheart! He swept me off my feet with his romantic antics. No bad boy before him ever took me out to a nice restaurant, spent more than a hundred bucks on me in a single event, went out of his way to bring me lunch, take me horseback riding on the beach. If I would have known he was going to be the one, I would have turned away from any and every guy that caught my attention and simply waited till I met him. So, I write this for you, bad boy lover. Here’s some learned [and essential] truths:
BAD BOYS———————————-GOOD GUYS
Not the best romancers Typically very good romancers
Treat you like a possession Treat you like a princess
Want your body stat Will wait for access to your body
Not always respectful to parents Always respectful to parents
Usually more aggressive attitudes More on the gentle side
Problematic aka trouble makers Problem solvers
Just living in the moment Preparing for the future
Thinking in just “my girl for now” Thinking of long-term and/or
terms eventually marriage
Can put your life in danger Places you in safety
Puts your heart on the edge Puts your heart at ease
Confused or tainted love Certain and pure love
Think you love bad boys? Think again.