“She was the love of my life.”
Sometimes, I think people should replace the word “love” for “lust.” I openly admit and realize that with my ex, whom I honestly believed I was head over heels in love with, although part of me did love him, lust played a huge part in my feelings toward him. Heck, lust was where most of the feelings stemmed from.
I remember how I would literally hyperventilate at times, my head would spin and my entire stomach and chest would burn within me at his touch. I even got the burning sensation once when he simply spoke about how he felt when he kissed me.
In the moment, I never thought, “Hey, I’m totally lusting the heck out of this guy,” instead, the thoughts I focused on were, “I love him, I can’t let him go, I’ve never felt this way for anyone before.” Little did I know at the time, the reason I had never felt the way I did for him for any guy before him was because, up until that point, I was never that intimate with a guy. I didn’t have sex with him, but the fact that we were intimate in other ways was enough to have my lust up to a level it had never been to before.
I believe I’m not the only girl who has done this. I think many girls that are intimate with a man become so attached to him and they believe they are so in love with him, when the majority of those feelings are just, feelings.
I would challenge any girl reading this blog right now who has a boyfriend and is intimate with him to stop, to even leave out the tongue when you kiss and then see what happens. Or, in the future, when you’re with a guy, be slightly prude. Yes, I said the dreaded p-word. Ladies, let me tell you something, forget what you’ve heard, decent guys would prefer a prude over a 7/11 girl ANY day! And an honest guy would tell you himself, “I respect a girl a lot more if she chooses not to have sex with me.” Please, challenge me on that one if you’re in doubt.
Why do I insist on these things? Because I care for you and I’ve been heart-broken too many times to not let you girls know what I’ve come to understand. You’re priceless. See what happens. I can guarantee this: you’ll be a lot less confused if you choose to cut out some of the physical intimacy. I pray one day you hear the words, “I will respect and honor you until the day you’re my wife.” If I can hear it, trust me, you can too.